Teen Years

Note: These pages are still being revised – check back for the final versions soon!

Is your price far above rubies, diamonds and pearls?

Or better yet, do we even need to ask that question?  We all know the answer, but do we truly believe it?

It is said that women are the most beautiful creation that God ever made. Above all of the creatures and wonders of the earth, God made women the most beautiful, stunning, and captivating. You might not look at yourself as a woman yet, but these years are very influential and play a big part in what kind of woman you will become.  Believe it or not, this day and the choices you make in it matter to your future.

Right now you might be at a place where making good choices is the last thing on your mind.  You might be more concerned with your worth as a person and not in the least concerned with what kind of choices you’re making today.  Being teenage girls ourselves, we totally relate.

“I’ve never really been a person that has struggled with my self esteem.  I’ve always been pretty confident and secure in who I am as a person…I’ve been loved by my family and friends and I always have people encouraging me.  Someone has always got my back.  But…if you’re anything like me, you feel totally unworthy of any praise or compliment whatsoever.  I sometimes find myself thinking, ‘How can people think well of me?  I’m such a sinner…I’ve got everyone fooled.  Only me and God know what my true motives are’ and I have this picture in my mind that God is so displeased with me because He sees my heart. ‘Everyone else thinks I’m an angel but when it comes down to it, God knows I’m a sinner more than anyone else does.  How can he possibly love me when he sees my sin??’  Feeling unworthy is something that comes really easily to me.

Not long ago, I was at a youth prayer meeting at my church when one of the youth leaders started praying for me.  The first words that came out of her mouth caught me so off guard I just started weeping.  ’He is pleased with you, Jillian.  Your Father in heaven is so pleased with you.’   I think sometimes when we see the sin in our own lives, it’s hard to love ourselves.  It’s even harder to imagine a God that sees all that and is pleased with us anyway.  He knows our motives and He knows we’re sinners, but He loves us still.  He dances over us and laughs with us…He is pleased with you.  He loves you anyway.  You are of worth to Him and He is pleased with you.  The God of the universe loves the sound of your name.” Jillian, founder/manager/editor of Priceless Purity.

We don’t want to hype you up on your “inner beauty” so the excitement can only die down in a few days, we only mean to tell you what you need to hear.  What you need is not a pep-rally, or a really cute guy telling you you’re beautiful. What you need is to know who you are in Christ.  To know that you were created in the palm of your Savior’s hand, and He trusts you to take care of yourself for that very reason. Not just physically, but spiritually. It is your obligation (no, it shouldn’t be a choice) to obey God and serve Him if you are His. It is your obligation to trust him to make you into the woman that He created you to be.

God created all human beings for one purpose and that is to bring Him glory.  You’re purpose in life should not be centered on how to make money, buy nice clothes, or even get married – you are here for one reason, and that is to serve God.

These years of your life are irreplaceable.  You’re young, capable, full of life, and you’re notorious for thinking you’ve got things figured out.  But we all know you don’t – you’ve got questions that no one has answers to.  You’ve got struggles you feel like no one can relate to.  You have people you’re trying to be patient with, and stress you’re trying to get rid of.  You’re juggling school, friends, parents, drama and jobs and you’re just one person.  Growing up is not easy. Your simple, innocent girlhood fades away, and the growing woman inside you becomes evident. This is the age where your spiritual life only begins to venture through the weakest stages you will probably ever experience…

YOU.  NEED.  GOD.

Have questions?  Visit our message boards specifically for teens!

Guarding Your Heart

Your heart is not intended to be tampered with.  It’s like your own personal compass.  It points you in the right direction, it leads to the “capital of your emotions” – it charts your path to everything.  Be careful.  Your teen years are more than a growth spurt, they’re a time when you are finding who you are as a person.  Your desires become way more prominent and, admit it, you just want to be loved.  Amidst all the pull of things that will make you “accepted” in society, your one true desire is to be loved unconditionally.  With no boundaries – no limits.  Do you know that no matter what; right or wrong, selfish or selfless, your Savior loves you unconditionally?  This isn’t Sunday school, this is the real deal.  All you have to do is accept His love for you…it’s more than enough.

How do you guard your heart?  This is a question we are still asking ourselves.  It’s a difficult task because most girls don’t know what they’re trying to guard themselves from.  What is right and what is wrong?  How do we decipher between the two?  Sometimes the line is blurred.  That is why we have to look to God to set the standard.

It’s easy to give your heart away.  Unfortunately, most teenage girls look for love in all the wrong places at this point in their life, because everyone wants their own “Notebook” experience.  Who we are loved by, and how we are loved during these years in our life either make us or break us. But how do we know where to set the standard for who we love and how?  The Bible doesn’t say who to date, or marry.

The days of your youth are so influential on impacting your life.  There are so many choices to make.  It’s not always going to be smooth sailing, obviously.  Right now, you’re in the “uncharted waters” of your life.  Seriously, it’s complicated.

More than an “Experiment”

It’s your decision – you can either disregard your teen years and label it as “The Experience”, or you can attempt to make them much more than just a risky/fun-filled experience.

An experience just for the experience is not an experience at all…

God has a special plan for your teen years.  He wants you to use them wisely, so you don’t have to suffer the consequences over time.

We hope that this page is insightful and encouraging to all those teen girls out there struggling daily. As teens ourselves – we definitely understand what you’re going through!

Have you found it hard to keep your reputation blossoming, without any part of it withering?  Are you able to focus on God, and allow HIM to take over your life, and lead you, rather than you lead yourself? Keeping pure and letting go of selfish ways and desires are hard enough, but letting God do His work in your life…is something, sadly, teen girls generally lack.

You know what every teen girl needs? A hero. Someone to SAVE them from their troubles. Tell me if you don’t agree with me, but I really think every girl needs someone special to confide in every once in a while that you can always trust, no matter what the circumstances.

Let me be honest.  You will never grow and accomplish anything for God during these years if you throw your time away doing mindless things and wandering around.  If you want answers to questions, go to God, not your friends, first.  Got a problem?  Talk to your parents.  Seriously, don’t waste time while you have it.  The last thing you’ll ever want is regret, and that is such an easy thing to get caught up in.

Just ask yourself these questions:

Do you honestly love God?

Do you WANT to love and know God?

Do you want to serve Him?

Even if you’re reluctant to some of the above questions, remember, that if you aren’t, you can start today to do things for the Lord.  What is holding your back?  Whatever is holding you back, needs to go from your life.  Even if it’s going to hurt to get rid of, you’re going to have to make little sacrifices for Jesus daily.  There’s no way to really escape it.   If you WANT to serve the Lord, if you want to love Him, then you must be able to give yourself up.  Just come forward and admit that you don’t want any part of this generation, you want to breakaway.  He will GIVE you the opportunities to breakaway.  If you have a HEART for Him, He will not break it.  He will let it go to good use.

It’s sad how the average teen girl goes looking for unconditional love from the wrong place.  No boyfriend, not even a father or mother, can have the same love that God can give to you.  You don’t have to

Be careful about who you label “friend”.

The righteous should choose his friends carefully,
For the way of the wicked leads them astray.  – Proverbs 12:26

It’s great to be friendly and show people God’s Love by not judging them…But be smart.  Don’t take things too far with people, especially those weak in their faith that don’t know much about God.

Chances are, that “friend” will lead you on to several questions and confusion about God and your own convictions.  KNOW what you believe before you get shaken down and brought low for not knowing how to answer someone.

“A scoffer seeks wisdom and does not find it, but knowledge is easy to him who understands. Go from the presence of a foolish man, when you do not perceive in him the lips of knowledge.” (Proverbs 14:6)

“Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

Occasionally our mistakes are in the case of using common sense, or knowing in the back of our minds that it’s bad and wrong.  Oh yes, it starts out innocent and fun, really it does.  But you know in your heart afterwards that you had the responsibility to get out of it, and just didn’t do it.  So who do you blame? Well…

“Therefore to him that knows to do good, and doesn’t do it, to him it is a sin.” – James 4:17

It’s just another thing we need forgiveness from.  It doesn’t matter how awful we really are, this is sin, and to Jesus, if you ask for forgiveness, sin is nothing.  It is gone, it will not hold you back from God’s love!

_______________________

Every human being learns so much during their teen years. During this stage in life, their perspective on everything is fickle. Things are different – there’s this new exposure. You now have that notorious reckless teen label on you – the one that causes people to overestimate your ability to “grow up” and underestimate your sensitivity and pressure in several different ways. To overcome, you need God.

One crucial thing thing – Teens seem to take the word “experience”, to a whole new level. In fact, some view the teen years as this one big “experiment”. In a way, it is. Yes, you notice new things you never have before, you’re aware of yourself more, your surroundings, people – what they do, how they live, etc.

It’s hard not to take these new things and turn them into distractions, and eventually, obsessions.

You want to try things out

One thing you must always remember, no matter what your extravaganzas are during this point of your life – you need God.

Peer pressure is the worst to any teen girl. This is where you need God most in your life. Try to spend time with God and ask for His help. Continue to worship Him and keep Him first. Many teens get into lots of trouble, such as drugs, smoking, etc., and that’s another reason why it’s so important to be pure.

You might wonder why it matters to try to be pure. You must remember that there is a God, and that someday, we will stand before Him. You do not want to have a bad report about yourself on your life. You need to try to be wise in your decisions, and rely on God to help you. Don’t give up on God – things take time, remain patient. If you do, you will be glad you did. Others might mess up and go in the wrong direction. They will someday regret their mistakes in following the wrong crowd of people.

Teens go through a lot – and often get stressed out, or too busy for even some extra time. Many teens are less respected, because of the average teen reputation. Many people talk about how uptight and annoying teens are – well, some of that may be true, but they’ve either forgotten, or haven’t reached that age, to where things are just so complicated. Sometimes you’ll just wish you were younger, or maybe not even alive, and didn’t have to put up with all that stress and pressure you’re going through now. You’ll sometimes even self-afflict yourself, out of anger and unhappiness with life. That’s where drugs, smoking, and cutting begin to come in. God doesn’t want us to do this to ourselves. It’s ruining the life God has given you. It’s disrespect to yourself and to God. He wants to help you, and has provided help in His word (the Bible). Reading it can give you encouragement and a better understanding of God. Plus, praying to Him, asking for guidance and help. Trust and depend upon people that know and fear the Lord – the will usually offer the best advice. People that aren’t yet acquainted with God are going to choose the darker side of things. Sometimes you’ll think they’re just showing the other side of the world that you’ve never been exposed to – it’s really just Satan’s way of tearing you away from God.  Don’t let this happen to you!

Want to talk to some teen girls your age? Get involved in our Teen Girl message board!

You have to remember that you’re NOT alone. Every teen girl is going to suffer a lot of the same things you are. When you’re feeling like you have no more purpose in your life, go turn to your Bible imediately. ( Just like when you physically start coming down with something, you seek a remedy.) The Bible is here for us to read, and it’s very encouraging. Our spiritual health seems to be “ailing” all the time – the remedy is turning directly to God, not other people. Though hearing words of encouragement is good, never forget that God is willing to help you. People in the Bible probably went through the same stress and feelings you are having!

We sometimes seek solace in listening to songs or in text messaging friends when going through a rough day.  We sometimes like to sit in our problems and build up tears hopelessly, rather than squelch them out and correct them.  We almost become complacent with our problems, and become spiritually diseased, without seeking a cure.  Again, the remedy is found in God and His Word, yet we rarely go to Him with our problems.  Or, do we, and we’re just lacking  the releasement of ourselves to Him completely?

There’s just one more thing teens tend to do – we think we’re right sometimes.  Or, we have that little feeling in the pit of our stomach informing us that we may be wrong, but don’t feel strong enough to fess up to it and risk more than we bargain for.

Sometimes it’s just easy to submit to the feelings of being alone in our problems.  It’s hard sometimes to imagine that other people can experience the way we feel, or understand. Sometimes that may be true, but remember, you can’t always be right about everything. You might get annoyed with your parents for not understanding why you like this or that. It could be a very simple situation, or a very serious one. And usually, after the damage is done, you realize it, but you just don’t want to give in and break down to apologize, for fear of being embarrassed, etc.

11 Timothy 2:22 says,

“Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

It’s interesting that it says “youthful” lusts.  This verse is so relevant to youth of today.

Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.”

So, basically…You are who you hang out with.  You might have good intentions of “reaching out” to someone, but don’t let them “reach out” to you in the process.

We sometimes seek solace in listening to songs or in text messaging friends when going through a rough day.  We sometimes like to sit in our problems and build up tears hopelessly, rather than squelch them out and correct them.  We almost become complacent with our problems, and become spiritually diseased, without seeking a cure. Again, the remedy is found in God, yet we rarely go to Him with our problems.  Or, do we, and we’re just lacking  the releasement of ourselves to Him completely?