Integrity

Integrity: the quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

I often see that word and sigh, thinking of a soldier dying for his country or a missionary leaving his family to go reach out to a civilization desperate for the truth of God’s Word. I think of big acts, and famous people who make a difference.  Nobility, bravery and strength – I look on those things and thank the Lord for people who live it out. I look on my own life and think that one day I will have those traits. I look on it as if it’s some distant thing that I cannot obtain until I’m “older” or “more experienced”. We’ve all been preached to about making a difference in the lives of others, but what about ourselves? Are we making changes in our own character? Are we living a life of integrity?

The other day I was in the kitchen eating, watching my amazing mother try to do three things at once: talk on the phone, clean the kitchen and answer questions. As I sat there eating I thought about how I wanted to be like that one day and how one day I’ll be admired for my hard work ethic, etc, etc. I said a quick prayer for an opportunity to come up so I could work on it, and thought nothing more of it. Now, by this point my mom was starting to get overwhelmed so she eventually left the room to continue her phone conversation and I was left to myself in the kitchen. After lunch hours the Clark kitchen isn’t usually spotless and this was no rare occasion. I started to go back and forth in my head about whether I should clean it up or not and I started to make excuses like: I can’t clean up cause what if everyone isn’t done eating? It would be a total waste. Obviously, things needed to be cleaned up, but can you guess what I did? I got up, went straight upstairs and left the kitchen for “someone else” to clean up, thinking: what’s the big deal? I do it all the time. How’s that for integrity?

Now I know you’re thinking you’ve done way worse, and truth is, so have I.  No matter what the situation is though, you have to decide in your heart to do the right thing, and do it.  Sometimes integrity isn’t necessarily choosing right over wrong, it’s choosing right over nothing. It’s making the choice to do the right thing instead of doing nothing at all. It isn’t easy, and in most cases, integrity doesn’t involve being in a big crowd or peer pressure (for me, anyways). It’s in the small things we do…it’s the “quality of being whole or undivided” no matter what situation we’re in. Being moral and choosing the right things in every situation. As Jim Stovall puts it: “Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching”. It’s hard.

I was watching a woman run a marathon on tv a few months back and I remember being so struck and inspired by her motivation. She was only halfway through but there was such confidence in her face that she was going to complete it. I’m sure everything in her body was screaming to stop but she didn’t slow down. This woman’s strength and motivation kept her going – not her dreams of having it. I get so caught up in dreaming and hoping for the future that I miss the opportunities I have now. Those are the most important in my life; those are the ones that will build character; and I still ignore them. I keep waiting for a big chance to prove my integrity but to be honest, as I examine how I live, I notice how very little I have. I know that I need to be more faithful to what I know is right…to my gut, to put it bluntly.

“The integrity of the upright will guide them, but the perversity of the unfaithful will destroy them.” Proverbs 11:3 (NKJV)

Like every other Christian on earth, I’ve always wanted to be someone people can trust and look up to…someone who is noble. It’s taken me so long to realize that the choices I make every day are the ones that build my character and it’s not how much time I spend praying before I get up in the morning. It’s purity in mind and in actions…it’s in the little, mundane things we do every day that make us who we are. Once you are confident in this, there will be no need to preach it, because you’re living it out.
Blessings,
-Jillian, Priceless Purity-